--- Hiho on the ANUM CHAOS - Blog from Walter A. --- Here you will read stuff i make around Anum Chaos, writting stuff about life and co. --- Enjoy your stay! --- NEWS: Anum Chaos gets over 10 years old!!!! --- The situation from my self is not really "the best" --- I draw to relax - NOT to get fame. --- My Frontpage got a new design. yay. ---

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Time changes a man and the people around him

The time runs by and stuff changed. It also changed me a bit and how stuff worked out. My last journal told you guys that i actually feel good and i kinda "give a sheat" about my old friends. They didnt care even ones to excuse or contact me so far. As i also said, i dont "wait" for them but its just a shame they dont do ANYTHING. Im not mad, i dont wait for it but you can see there they really just used me over the years. I mean, if they would have been my friends, they would already contacted me at least ONES over the months dont you think~?

Again, i dont wait for them to do so since i have better things to do and work on, like on my health. Right now, its already past 3 AM here and i write this down just for the fact to write that i work on a lot stuff, soon as sample, i try to work on my health problems which got more and more worse. I also thought about to finally move forward with other stuff.

Art-wise i also think im getting better and better :3 a lot people actually enjoy it and even play my mini-games i create. Game-wise i stull have to much on steam and play with my other friends which contacted me after i left my "ex" friends. They actually do care of me since they even sended me medecine as i was sick some weeks ago XD this crasy bastards heheheh ^^ But yea, so far, life is smooth and good with me even if im still not able to work, i try to do my best, even useless "flamewars" with my dad didnt happen (at least NOT so) much the last months, we began to work on stuff together and even talk about thinks and help each other. So yea, im kinda happy now the way it is. I sure wish at least my old "ex" friends would excuse them but since they give a fuck about me i dont see that will happen that soon. One of them is eat´n up from the others logic, said other one is eat´n up by his faked honor and butthurtness. This is something we should call "leave them that way".

With that said i hope this will be a great winter time for me ^^

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Actually im feeling great now!

Finally a prositive post after all the shit what was going on in the last posts!

Yea, honestly, since i have no contact with my friend since the full month now i actually feel pretty good and even more relaxed then ever. To give a full view of the situation now: As i said, i tried to talk to him but i gave it a rest and talked with a 3rd person about him, another friend from him and told him i will NOT poke him or talk to him ones-so-ever coz i wait till he makes now the first step.

In other words: i dont do a thing till he comes and says a thing.

Till this very moment, he didnt and all "his" other friends which are still on my friendlist also didnt contacted me ones about this shit which happend.

But again, since this shit happend, i actually feel pretty good. I do a lot more stuff next to just sitting here in front of my Laptop. I actually enjoy even a lot good musics now again and some games like "Death Road to Canada" for me alone. About drawing well, we know how it is, if you have a idea you draw it and if not well you dont XD

But yea, i feel great just a bit tired sometimes since the weather here is..."wierd". I will not say not, "thank you that you left me my dear friend" but when i think about that i never had such "relief" in YEARS....it just feels good to sit here, relax a bit and humming to some good tunes with my dog next to me who just want me to throw a ball hehehe. But yea- Just wanted to give hands-up how things work out for me.

Should my "old friend" read that, im not waiting if you contact me or not, this is up to you and not to me. If you should never contact me again or if you dont even thought about to contact me, i actually dont mind anymore. I feel now very good and i dont want to ruin this feelings.

Sunday, July 02, 2017

Oh boi!

After all what i actually wrote in the last post back in march, i slowly doubt at the friendship i have with my said friends and actually wasnt feeling any better the months after i actually wrote my post.
I talked with my friend about that but it didnt made the problems any better, tbh, it made them more or less worse.

Right now, i deleted ONE of my friends, the one who has a problem about understanding a good dang reason, from my friendslist of steam since he compaired our friendship with a game of Uno. I tried to talk about that to with him but at the end i tried to come down and talk with him another day or in a month maybe. Today i just saw him again playing a game i actually recommended to play with him and the others - problem here: without me.

Sure i did a backflip about that and just give it a break now. the situation reminds me of a older part of me where i actually recommended stuff like games or movies to people which i could enjoy with them together but sadly ending that they enjoy it with someone else, my brother did that and some other friends. It was not like they didnt want me to enjoy it to, it just happend and they actually felt sorry about that.
Sadly here, my friend dont see a reason to do that and went so far that "i should go back in "my world"". Not knowing that that kinda hurted me pretty hard, i just took a deep breath and leave it that way, left him now behind, i sure raged today to and the other days but i finally think im in the position to say "i should really think why im a friend of that person, if he handles me like a 5th old-used-wheel."

I will here not make again another "im so fucking worry about my friends" post, more a think and poke about how it feels to be left totally alone by someone you trust a long time. He should know by now that i dont like that and that that freaks me out. Am i now mad? No, im not. Im again and again very very disappoined about this and that this actually happend, again.

If thats not a reason to worry about, im now also not more able to get a good job since the doctors said im "unable to work" - which means that this also pretty much bites my nervs right into the right place, giving me now sometimes hard depressions. I really should think about to to come out of this "hell´s circle" and find something what helps.

I really think i should get something new to do or friends which are there for me again. Right now, i feel like im in the very wrong place between the wrong people which has nothing better do to then sitting infront of their computers and playing games. I might will again do sport, i duno why i stoped it, guess time reasons. I still remember the good times with my ping pong friends and how good i was in this game. a shame i lost my stuff for it...

Friday, March 10, 2017

Time for a new post

With that music i kinda say hello after the long time of not writting anything. So whats new? Well In the last post i wrote i broke up with my old friends since they gave a shit. A wile later, one of them asked me to "finally" talk over the stuff. Well we did and we are friends again...

Sadly, i feel more like im "just" there. I actually shut up and dont say something about but honestly, right now i feel more alone then before. I will not say im "mad" about but if i join the TS server as sample, nothing happens, everyone is watching YT videos or ignor the fact that their "are" a lot of opinions we could do, next to this im nearly for everything open.

But insteed, they actually play games i actually dont enjoy or more or less "out of nowhere". As i said, im not mad or complain but its like they have "their" friends they play games with wile i sit in the corner and play my games. Is that bad? I duno, it feels just like i sit there like a lone nerd playing games which could be played together wile they "suddendly" play other games.

But oh well before i get into trouble, i guess we all know how that will end soon or later right~?
Meh....even if i dont like that part but dont blame me if i said so.

Anyways next to that kinda "lonelyness" i actually have some happy moments in my life. I got a nice artwork from a friend of mine from my Spy character! Yay!

Fuse by Husky-Foxgryph on DeviantArt

I really love it to be honest. Ok, i actually got a Paper mario styled Picture from my "friend" to X-Mas, its also nice and i sure enjoyed it but you guys should know how i feel about heh.

Next to that, another bad story is that i actually have health problems, as sample, right now im sitting maybe just some inche in front of the screen since i can barely see what i write. another problem is that my back hurts sometimes like crasy, another time i bleed like shit. I duno what those problems actually are but, as much as i know, i am not able to get a job coz of my "heavy health problems" right now. For how long i dont know, i dont want to stay unemployed for ever to be honest.

So i try my best to work on my health, i will talk with my doc soon about that but who cares about it anyways.

Just wish me luck.

Monday, June 27, 2016

So...Its again time for a post i guess...

GEES! I said so often i should use my blog more often but i guess i dont do so anyways.

Still, im not dead and here is again another fresh post to keep you guys going.

So whats going on and co and what was happen.

First of all, i have now a little job i do till end November of this year, some garden-stuff, nothing to special. Still, its sometimes hard but always a bit funny.

Next up, i broke with my friends i talked about last journal. Over the year, not much changed and they even "forced" me to go into the extrem. I dont wana go into much detail since i did some month ago with some "pretty open journals" and im actually pretty happy right now. I sure wished it would not end "this way" but i guess this was the only opinion i had and, honestly, if they would like me back as friend they would do something - and so far none of this 2 did.
 Which simply means "its not worth it" i guess - So i dont care anymore. I deleted every contact i had from them (3DS, Wii U, Steam, Skype, etc.) but they are still open to contact me where they want, i tried and i dont care about that anymore,

Coz´ since i broke up i also try to learn now some digital art with my obsession from the "Spy Vs Spy" characters X3. Yes, i pretty much love the series since i was a lil W.A. and i really enjoy to draw my Spy characters more and more. I lovely gave them the name "Fuse & Ms Fire" (Black & White Spy). For the meaning: Its a nick for "Fuse & Misfire" So i thought it fits since the original Spys where called "Joke & Dagger".

Spy Vs Spy - Just a Fuse to be seen by WAtheAnum on DeviantArt

 I played the Spy Vs Spy GBC game, I draw a lot Spy Vs Spy stuff and i actually got founder in a Spy Vs Spy fan group XD so yea, the word "obsession" fits here i guess, lols.

So yea, i sure draw still other stuff, like my Furry characters of course but i have recently more fun drawing those stuff - Coz of the ood old memorize i had i guess :3

Next to this i listen to a lot random stuff the last days, not only this Spy Vs Spy c64 game remix X3

I mostly try to relax now and draw a lot, i sure have gotten a LOT games over the year and right now we have Steam Summer Sale again - oh boy....my wallet already was cring but this time, i got so far only 6 games and i played already 4 of them and they are all great - i stopped buying games like "oh i fucking need it coz its off". I uploaded 10€, got 5 games and like so for 4 out of it and even PLAY them - the 6. game i got later and i also wana play this one soon.

So yea, thats so far all, stay tuned and best look around my gallerys from time to time, got a lot new stuff to show next to my traditonal art and now new digital arts X3

Dis, is art. by WAtheAnum on DeviantArt

Monday, August 31, 2015

And again a post? :P

Gees i really should use my own blog more often, i mean its now again really long ago i used it.

Well ok i try to keep things short.

I came good into the new year only with a bit pain of my wisdom tooth but it was pretty ok. Easter was also not "so bad" but still. Summer sucked coz it was hot the first time and now the weather dont know how it will be in the next day, sometimes its hot sometimes its raining sometime its even somewhere between of that.

Anyways my current situation is not really the best or what ever. My Dad is again a butthole but thats nothing new, the problem is he is redesign our kitchen anew and he "wants" that everyone helps. I normaly have no problem helping him if he would not "nearly" kick everyone in the ass FOR helping them or blame the shit out of the people...and if you DONT help him he blackmails you and what not with stuff like "i throw you out of my home!" and and and.

Honestly, I dont want him to put honey on my ass but if he wants people to actually help him he should also treat them like that he actually NEEDS help and not kick them or throw a rude word next to the other around out of his mouth, for srs.

Anyways, thats one point of "bad" situation right now, another one is that a friend of mine, kinda good one, is going now his own way by joining someone i only can give "pity". He means im jealous but no, really im not. The problem is that this "dude" is one of his friends and i sure respect that in ONE way but if those people nearly "acquisition" just other people to get a kind of "clan" running and feeling strong by been "more than as one" its really a pity. I mean i had ones the "favor" with this guy and just HE was mad at me, some of his people also went mad without a reason - and my old friend even KNOW about that and gave a shit like to blame myself "you made the problems".

Its ok if you want him as friend but im not a bee in the hive who just runs behind its queen, doing her shit which she cant do herself.

About Art well i keep it slow but i try to do much better art than before, also some other artworks i didnt make the last years. I still have a lot fun with and it helps me relax a lot.

Dat body in dat V-bikini~ by WAtheAnum on DeviantArt

I still hope to get a job soon. I really try hard to get one but my dad dotn see it. I dont wana show him my job stuff and co and about that fact he is also mad, blaming me i dont do a shit about getting a job and what not.

Honestly, just that i dont show you where i go and try to get a job doesnt mean i dont do nothing to actually get one - next to this, I wana get a job and work there, NOT my dad.

So thats everything so far and i try to keep in touch.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Time runs, a bit smooth but fast

Well I finally thought i write down something which maybe sounds good and maybe not heh.

First, today i got "rid" of my wisedom tooth...all for 4 ones which pretty much hurts like hell but i think i need to deal with it the next days X3.

In Secondlife, things runs smooth, I make more the background thinks wile Faly runs now the "The Starring Zone" - a Mobian/furry Hangout we both share and love to own. It was Our idea to open this one coz the sims from the Sonic fandom are rare and good opinions are also rare. A lot people like it. Next to this Faly began to work on (or with) "Mobian Fantasies" - Special Seductive Collecting Cards you can buy cheep with "sexy" models on them. She already finished a full deck (40 cards) and the next is on work.

On Steam, i got a lot of games i should play or give it a try...of finish maybe X3 i duno i have to much stuff i dont know where i should start first! XD

WIth my Art, i finished some days ago my Calendar art for 2015. ALso i try to draw 1-2 pictures a week. it helps me relax and i come down with i do so. Of course i try to work the storys out an stuff . ^^

I may still have no job but i try to get one as good as i can.

Life goes on. ^^